The Little Tobi Story
by Theif Queen
Summary: Tobi, the newest member of the Akatsuki learns a few new 'words' from the rest of the Akatsuki, but what will come of this? random one-shot, rated T for language, mostly from Hidan. Enjoy


**Disclaimer:I do not own anything!!! because if I did the show would have been cancelled due to extreme randomness and what not! ^^'**

**I only wrote this because I was reeeaaalllyyy bored 0.o, But hope you like it anyway, or not, the choice is yours ^^ lol**

**~START~**

It was just a regular, normal day at the Akatsuki base...well for now. The newest Akatsuki member, Tobi, who had replaced Sasori after his death was skipping, yes, skipping along the Akatsuki base, humming a small tune as he then stopped next to the greedy Kakuzu's room as he poked his head out his door, being the nosy boy he is, to see what he was doing. He saw that Kakuzu had his back towards the door, counting his money as he normally did.

"What the!? I Swore I Had More The Last Time!!! I Hope That Dumb Ass Hidan Didn't Steal Any!! Because If He Did-"Tobi then looked at Kakuzu questionably as he opened the door wide enough for him to run inside and run next to Kakuzu.

"Kakuzu-san!! Tobi wants to know what does 'Ass' mean?!?"

Tobi asked in his goofy, yet innocent voice as Kakuzu stopped counting his money and gave Tobi a you-gotta-be-kidding-me look. Kakuzu then sighed as he turned his body towards Tobi as he tried to think of a good excuse. After all, Leader wouldn't be happy if Kakuzu gave Tobi 'unnecessary' information.

"Well Tobi…'Ass' is...another word for...uhh.."

Kakuzu thought some more as he then looked back down at his money, then at Tobi, then at his money again.

"Uhh...Money!..Yes! Ass is another word for Money!, Now go away!"

Kakuzu ordered as he waved his hand at him to get out of his room, wanting desperately to get back to counting his money.

"Ahh! Tobi understands!! Thanks Kakuzu-san!"

Tobi said cheerfully as he ran out of Kakuzu's room before he could say anything else. Tobi then marched across the hallway humming his little tune again. until-

_**"WHY DON'T YOU JUST SHUT UP YOU STUPID JASHIN WORSHIPER!!!"**_

"WHY DON'T YOU SUCK MY DICK AND QUIT ACTING LIKE A BITCH YOU DAMN PLANT!!!"

_**"WHY YOU LITTLE BASTARD!!!, IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP I'LL EAT-"**_

"Hey! Hidan-san, Zetsu-san!"

Tobi yelled out as he interrupted the arguing Hidan and the black side of Zetsu for who knows what reason as Tobi ran in between them.

"What The Hell Do You Want Tobi?!?!?"

Hidan yelled out, obviously annoyed with Tobi for interfering with his argument towards the plant-like Akatsuki member.

"Tobi wants to know what does 'Bitch', 'Bastard' and 'Dick' mean?"

Tobi asked making Hidan and Zetsu give awkward glances at each other. They knew the consequences of what will happen if Leader heard they gave Tobi the 'information' of those three words. And it wasn't pretty.

"Uhhh..."

They both said in unison as they both thought of a good enough excuse.

"Well Tobi, A 'Bitch' is...how you...describe a woman, and a 'Bastard' is...how you describe man."

Zetsu's white side explained as he then smirked at Hidan who was now forced to explain Tobi what the third word was. Hidan just glared at Zetsu and clenched his teeth and gripped his scythe.

"Oh! Tobi gets it! Thank You Zetsu-san! Hidan-san! What does 'Dick' mean?"

Tobi asked cheerfully as he turned his attention to the potty-mouthed, Jashin worshiper. Hidan then thought for a moment, and smirked back at Zetsu, almost chuckling.

"Well Tobi...a 'Dick' is how you describe...ZETSU'S FACE!!!!"

Hidan yelled in Zetsu's face as he started roaring with laughter. Zetsu just glared at the soon-to-be-his-lunch Jashin worshiper. Tobi then started jumping happily.

"Oh Tobi understands now!! Thank You Hidan-san! Tobi is a Good Boy!!"

Tobi cheered as he ran away from the once again arguing missing-nin as Tobi wanted to get some fresh air so he then soon made his way outside of the base where he spotted Kisame and Itachi walking together. He walked closer to them to see what they were talking about.

"Seriously Itachi, all these missions Leader is giving us is killing me. I don't think I can take anymore of this shit!"

Kisame sighed as Itachi nodded in agreement.

"I agree..."

"Itachi-san! Kisame-san!!"

Tobi yelled out as he ran over to the two Akatsuki members. They both stopped walking and sighed as soon as they saw Tobi.

"I don't think I can take anymore of HIS shit either"

Kisame mumbled only for Itachi to hear as Tobi ran in front of them.

"Kisame-san!, Itachi-san!, What does 'Shit' mean?"

Tobi asked all innocent as Itachi and Kisame gave each other weird glances towards each other at his awkward question. They both started to think of a good excuse to give Tobi. Because lord knows what Leader will do to them if he found out they have been giving Tobi 'inappropriate' information. Kisame then looked back at Tobi, scratching the back of his head.

"Well Tobi...'Shit'...is uhh...complimenting?...Yes! complimenting someone!"

Kisame said was the first thing that popped into his head. Tobi then gasped in excitement as he looked at Itachi who was just nodding in agreement of Kisame's 'explanation'. Tobi then jumped up excitedly.

"Tobi understands now! Thank you Kisame-san and Itachi-san!!"

Tobi yelled as he ran from the two missing-nin and ran back inside the base. Once Tobi went back inside he started to smell something coming from the kitchen. Tobi then ran to the kitchen to investigate as he poked his head out from the kitchen door to see his senpai about to put a chicken in the oven, who he unnoticeably left on.

"Hmp! I can't believe they told me I should cook dinner this time JUST BECAUSE THEY THINK I LOOK LIKE A GIRL!!!"-..AHH FUCK!!!"

The blonde artist yelled out as he accidentally burned himself from the oven and shook his hand around in order to relive the pain on his now burned finger. Tobi then gasped as he ran into the kitchen in front of his senpai.

"Deidara-senpai! Tobi wants to know! What is 'Fuck'?"

Tobi asked excitedly as Deidara stopped shaking his burned fingers and looked at Tobi wide-eyed. He then thought about it for a moment as he imagined what Leader would do to him if he gave Tobi THAT kind of information. Deidara then wrapped his hand on the apron he had on, yes he was wearing an apron, to relieve the stinging, burning pain in his fingers.

"Uhhh...well Tobi...'Fuck' is..."

Deidara thought about it for a moment as he then looked down at the cursed chicken that was now lop sided in the oven as he then looked back at Tobi, then back at the chicken, then back at Tobi as he had an idea.

"Well Tobi...'Fuck' is a way of cooking a chicken! un"

Deidara explained as he then quickly kicked the oven door shut, fearing he may burn himself again. Tobi then nodded excitedly.

"Ahh Tobi gets it now!!! Thank you Deidara-senpai!!"

Tobi yelled out as he then quickly skipped out of the kitchen before the blonde artist could say anything else. Tobi was now skipping across the hallway of the Akatsuki base as he then saw Leader and Konan walking together, towards him.

"It's been a long day Konan, I just hope nothing stupid happens on today's meeting, or I'm going to have a fit!"

"Now! Now Just calm down...Oh look there's Tobi!"

Konan stated as both her and Pein stopped as Tobi ran up to them panting from all the running he did today as he bent over with his hands to his knees in order to catch his breathe.

"Ahh Tobi your here, Good! Now where are the others?, We all have an important meeting today."

Pein asked as Tobi finally caught his breathe and looked up excitedly at the two of them.

"Oh!, Hello Bitch and Bastard!. Kakuzu is in his room counting his Ass!, Hidan is busy yelling at Zetsu's Dick!, While Kisame's Shitting on Itachi, and Deidara-senpai is in the kitchen Fucking the chicken!"

Tobi explained happily as Pein now had a huge vein in his head, and Konan just looked at Tobi shocked and disgusted from all the language he used. Tobi just tilted his head in confusion from there expressions.

"What? What did Tobi say? Tobi is a good boy!"

**~END~**

**Well...that was random 0.o if you like please review ^^ no flames please and please read my other stories and Tobi will give you a hug! ^^**

**Tobi: "Yes! because Tobi is a Good Boy!!!" ^_^**

**me: "Yes! Tobi is!" ^_^**


End file.
